How to Use a Condom

Using a condom is one of the most responsible acts a human being can perform. Stated quite frankly, using condoms can save your life or the life of a buddy. Unfortunately many instances of pregnancy, disease, and other mishaps still occur because people do not follow the instructions on the package of condoms. The King feels strongly about his condoms and wants all his subjects to follow these simple yet life saving instructions every time you use one of the King's condoms.

1. Check the expiration date, never use expired condoms.
   
   
2. Open package at one corner, never use your teeth.
   
   
3. Squeeze the tip of the condom. This is to eliminate air bubbles. (Adding a couple drops of a water based lubricant on the inside tip can increase sensate and decrease chance of breakage).
   
   
4. Unroll the condom fully to the base of the Penis.
   
   
5. After intercourse, unroll the condom while the penis is still erect. Discard used condom in the trash, not the toilet. Dispose of the condom yourself, trusting someone else with your D.N.A can result in 18 years of child support payments.
   
   
6. Never reuse a condom, always use a new condom.
   
   
7. Remember keep condoms away from heat, like a glove box and do not store in your wallet.